I was agitated. It has always been like that and I hated it. I grew very upset and I finally decided it should end as has always been the case. I always thought that breaking up is the only solution.
Dating relationships are messy. You know it’s not gonna always be like cloud nine but foolishly expect that it will often. You know there will be so many rough roads along the way but you get surprised when you encounter even the littlest humps. For while you’re at it, you savor every moment and cherish how it feels to be loved even though you know it will hurt you a lot; special mention to the tears you will shed and the sleepless nights of wondering how come things happen that bad when all you wanted was to be happy.
Relationships have different attractions to different people too! People have different reasons why they choose or choose not to enter a dating relationship. Talk about individualities, it’s same as saying no two persons have the same fingerprint. Each one is quite unique.
So maybe that’s the fact that we need to admit in all our relationships (even to family members, co-workers, friends, neighbors, etc.) Every person is distinctly his/her own that’s why there are big chances of having clashes in terms of preference, opinion, orientation, behaviour, attitude and the list goes on. People are living agents; we think, act and behave autonomously. We may be influenced by people and other factors, but we choose albeit consciously or unconsciously how we behave, think and do things.
I think the essential keyword here is communication, negotiation and compromise. I’m not a guru and I’m not very wise to be one. When we decide to love somebody, we can’t expect everything will be perfect. HAHAHA. Now, I’m quite serious in what I’m saying. Feelings do fluctuate, hormones are deceptive, the other person gets annoying, mood often swings and tantrums are even inevitable. There may be hidden agendas and uncountable unfulfilled promises. We get disappointed, frustrated, wait, worry, scream, and cry our heart out (different ways of expression for different people).
The other person we thought will be our partner to all our joys, thrills, excitement, gloom, grief, and in overcoming our every obstacle will not be always there when we need them the most, even if they care for us deeply. As much we wanted to share almost everything, both of the persons in a dating relationship remains an individual.
There are problems a person must solve by himself. There’s a time to be alone and time to come together.
Whew! What exactly am I saying? I dunno. Relationships also make us weird sometimes. Without our knowing it, we assimilate the other person’s personality. In my case, he’s very patient and persistent. That’s why every time I get angry at him over something, I think again. He has always been uncomplaining to me, even when I get late for appointments, I didn’t finish what he asked me to do and I have an annoying attitude of bringing out the issue of break up every time I’m angry. He was calm and composed, persistent and firm. I don’t always get what I wanted. I will never be a spoiled girlfriend. For the nth time, it was I again who apologized for being angry at small things. Now, how do you think of that? I was the one who was frustrated, angry, disappointed with the workings of the relationship but I ended up taking the blame. You see, I had the wrong perspective. I always want to get out when I should help make it work out. Commitment – now that’s difficult to explain.
Now I shouldn’t bring out breaking up issue often, because the more I talk about it, the more his pushing for tying the knot.
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