Kaya minarapat kong dito ko na ilalathala ang lahat ng mga nais kong sabihin at ipahiwatig sa inyo, mga kapwa ko Bisaya o Pilipino...

Tutal naman, ang blog na ito ay isang pansariling blog lamang at wala naman akong planong ipasa ito sa anumang paid post service.

Kung kaya, dito malaya ako... Malaya akong isiwalat ang katiwaliang nakikita ko sa ting gobyerno, malaya akong ibahagi sa inyo ang mga napapansin ko sa ating kapaligiran....

at sa kung anu-ano pang mga bagay na nanaisin kong ipagtapat sa buong mundo.

Halina kayo, samahan ninyo ako sa aking paglalakbay...

• I am weak and when I turn to God, he gives me strength
• whenever I have to make decisions in life, big or small, I need enlightenment
• God isgood and I thank for everything he does for me
• when life gets worse, he is the anchor that keeps me from being blown away
• He's my Father, and when I ask anything in His name, He will do it
• I am only human: my strength, hope and security is in Him alone
• I need his help in whatever I do, whether simple or complex tasks
• He deserves to be worshipped and adored in my prayers
• there are things I cannot understand, so I ask for His guidance and direction
• everytime I do He renews my commitment and my soul finds rest
• in my own, I am nothing so I yield to him
• He loves me and because of everything He is, I love Him too

I pray because

  I need to, I have to, I love to....

My father and I have a unique bond. It cannot be severed by distance; it lingers even when I'm quite an adult myself.

You see, it was my father who took care of me when I was a baby. My mother breastfed me, and I'm also close to my mother but it was my father who lulled me to sleep, watched me while I was sleeping, then accompanied and fetched me from school afterwards when I was attending primary school. That's until I entered grade IV.

Basically, he was my primary caregiver. He lost his job even before they had me (vehicular accident caused his hearing loss so he cannot work further as a seaman). He was the housebound, I mean house husband. 

After high school, I was supposed to study in UP Diliman, to take up Journalism. My father objected of it. He didn't want me to go far. So I enrolled in the closest UP campus instead, which is in Davao City. Taking up Computer Science is not easy especially is you're not naturally adept with mathematics and abstract reasoning, so it was quite a struggle in the beginning. I cross enrolled for one summer in UP Los Baños to see if I can handle if I transferred there. But barely two weeks in Laguna, I was already very homesick and I wanted to go home right away. My mother insisted that I stay on, but I begged off. I wouldn't want to live that lonely. I wanted to go home because of my father. He seems so lonely without me at home.

I guess I am quite speculating here. My father never said so. He's like most men I think. He's not very expressive. But when I arrive home early from school (that's 50 km away from where we live and 2 hours travel time), he doesn't drink much wine. But if I sleep over somewhere or arrive home late, especially if he's nursing an angst against my mother, he drinks till he's drunk. Bad thing about it is: drunkenness and bad temper don't mix well. If he's drunk, he throws violent tantrums, we sometimes think he's a monster. But I'm not writing this to discredit  my father, in fairness, he's quite a good man. He still gives me money even if I have work myself. He didn't object anybody who courted me in the past. He received them quite nicely at home. He's doing his laundry by himself and he can be sent to do errands anytime of the day except beyond 6 pm. 

I think,  no father is perfect. Each one has a flaw. But since they are fathers we have high expectations of their behavior. We think they should behave at all times, they shouldn't make mistakes. But, we also get prodigal at times, sometimes we choose to disobey but they still love us anyway. They are also human, limited, unreasonable sometimes, everything that we are yet a little different.

What I am trying to say really is, let's love them just as they are!

They say, bad spirits roam freely during this date. And it's bad luck?

Not a believer though. But I think there are really spirits in this world, principalities of darknes, we refer to them.

Anyway, Diyos ko, bantayin niyo po ako ngayong araw.

hehe.

Just to break the monotony of the blog, to make it a little colorful, I'm posting this test result. I don't necessary believe it though. By the way, I think my favorite color is green. Runners up are brown, blue and OK pink.

*** i'm not very particular with names

2. Do you think suicide is the best way?

*** who says it is?3. Rate your social life from scale 1 to 10.
*** 7.5

4. Are you in love with someone at the moment?
*** you guess...

5. Are you missing someone at the moment?
*** not really

6. Would you die for the one you love?
*** if situation calls for it, i will think about it (hehe)

7. Do you think love hurts?
*** no. I think it's people who hurt us

8. What's the best thing about love at first sight?
*** I'm not a believer

9. What's the worst thing about love?
*** love is perfect. it's the people who make the difference. It's because we're imperfect that we cannot love perfectly (ano daw?! LOL)

10. Will you wait for someone you love?
*** maybe

11. What song best describes your love life at this second?
*** can't imagine me without you (blush)

13. Do you wanna get married?
*** I do!

14. Have you talked to the person you love on the phone?
*** yep

15. Do you keep memories or try to forget them?
*** recall them only when needed

16. Is love always on your side or the opposite way?
*** what a weird question

17. Do you have a gay/lesbian/bisexual friend?
*** yeah! a lot

18. Are you sick of love?
*** why am i answering this questionnaire (i'm getting stupid)

19. What are 5 things your looking forward to?
*** new work!
*** payday!
*** tomorrow

20. Are you sick of questions on love?
*** sometimes, especially if the questions are silly

21. What are you going to do tomorrow?
*** go to church

22. What do u want so badly right now?
*** code some program counts, right?

23. Do you think money is everything?
*** of course not, but it's definitely something

24. What song are you listening right now?
*** nothing

25. What's the song, you last sang?
*** nada

26. How much do you love music?
*** only when it's played softly... I love all genre except hard rock and metal but it shouldn't hurt my ears. I'm moderately deaf on left ear because of noise pollution. I don't want to aggrevate that

27. Do you play an instrument?
*** does tambourine count? (hehe) yeah, xylophone and a just a little knowledge on guitar and piano (not skill)

28. Have you written your own song?
*** i write poems at times but i don't know how to put lyrics and melody together

29. What movie did you last watch?
*** kung fu panda! it's so cute... it's outragiously hilarious... you should watch, if I were you

30. What turns you on from the opposite sex?
*** good manners and right conduct (nyahahaha)

31. Do you believe in forever?
*** yeah, I believe in God, heaven and hell, earth is a temporary residence. there is a place where we really are 'home'

32. How long have you been breathing?
*** since birth of course, stupid question btw

33. What was your first thought this morning?
*** can't remember

34. Do you actually believe in perfection?
*** i believe in perfection but I appreciate flaws, defects, errors and mistakes more . If everything were perfect, it would be an entirely different world, i coudn't imagive it

35. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

*** both is OK

kalagot lagi! hmf. nganong dili man ko kabalo magdrawing kanang ayos... kanang murag painting gud. lol.

haha. how pathetic. bitaw. mao ra jud ni ang butang na ma-envy ko. huhuhu. nagatry ko tuon ug adobe ug corel. pero bisan hawd pa ko mugamit ana na mga software (assuming makatuon jud ko) what's important is the skill gihapon. 

hahay. sob. sob.

---- Author Unknown---

Disclaimer: I'm posting it here because it makes sense to me. Actually I've seen it published in a web site also.  I've copied and pasted it as is. If you are the author of this content and want this removed, contact me using me email address.

I think every corner of the world now is penetrated by my fellow Pinoys, both legally and otherwise. Filipinos have conquered the world! Athough some countries consider most my countrymen second-class citizens in their nations, and subject to their discrimination and racial prejudice I feel proud of them.

Why?

Because Filipinos are capable to doing anything imaginable just to be able to send money back home (that's love, baby!) even if it meant they have to work as caregivers  (very humble but honorable job), maids, fruit pickers, factory workers, entertainers, and sadly sometimes prostitutes. Although yes, Filipinos are able to excel in professional careers too, as doctors, engineers, teachers, nurses, as the list goes on.

It feels weird though that I am doing this now: pondering whether I too shall join the bandwagon and find better paying jobs overseas(if lucky enough, or rather blessed enough).  

Yes, I'd like to go places. I want to go abroad, even as a child. My father used to work as a seaman and he had all his opportunities to go coast to coast around the globe. He gave me his collection of both coins and paper bills of each country he visited, (I doubt if they are still valid until now) and how I wished I could go to those places myself! But even then, all I ever wanted was to visit and stay for a while enough to appreciate what each place and their people have to offer. Even then, I've always thought of working in my country, as a way of service to my people (corny, ewww).

I've always been loyal. This is the single most important quality that I am proud of in my character. I can say that without batting an eyelash. (haha, crazy!)

• I am loyal to my friends even when they found new friends and lose touch
•  I am loyal to my soul twin (so far, ha-ha) and I don't need to elaborate
• I am loyal to our local church even when people started leaving because they felt they were not growing. I stayed because I have to bloom where I was planted.
• And yes, I've always been loyal to the Philippines; I have always imagined myself staying here for good, whether in better or worse circumstances. 

However, lately I've had serious self talk (not the kind that psychotic people do, lol). I am considering leaving. In fact, next week I will be processing my passport and other documents. I'm not still convinced that leaving is the ultimate solution, but this has been the current trend, even among my family members. My sister, as well as her family is in Germany and she is pursuing her doctorate degree. They are planning to emigrate there. I think my other sister is going to do the same. And now, my soul twin is also considering working abroad because his salary is so meager to provide for his own family in the future as well as support his parents' medication and other expenses.

I am quite contented with the way things are going in my life here. It's not perfect, we are living comfortably although not well off in terms of material things. I am happy. My lifestyle is simple after all and I don't have very lofty ambitions. I am happy for my sisters ‘cause they were given rare opportunities to study and stay for good in a foreign country but I am not envious. Some people are blessed in some ways and other people in some different ways. I'd love to go, and I will try saving money to be able to go places. I'm still young and maybe I'd be given my own chance, who knows?

But if I am going to leave, who's going to take charge of the kids at church, who's going to take my parents' blood pressure and watch what they eat? 

I'm stupid because I do care about the country. I'm afraid there will be nobody to care for the sick since the doctors and nurses are leaving; nobody to teach young children since teachers are going abroad; nobody to build houses because skilled workers are leaving also! Am I going to leave too?

EDIT: HAHAHA... I got confused with my story